Unraveling history's alternate timelines

My visit to Aachen in 837 CE as documented on Nov 21, 2024

Monastic Marrow Replaces Wine in a Lively Carolingian Court Transformation

I found myself today within the elegant halls of the Carolingian court in Aachen, amidst a tapestry of temporal familiarity and peculiar divergence—the conspicuous absence of wine. Instead of the ancient, amber-hued tails of Bacchus, the court abounds with a curious tonic known as 'Monastic Marrow', concocted from cloves and elderberries. The event came as a spark to an already lively atmosphere, where feasting nobles and gentry imbibed this brew with all the enthusiasm of yore, though without the slur of fermented courage.

Emperor Louis the Pious, bearing a solemn temperament apt to his name yet betraying a penchant for sweetness, presides over this grand affair. The usual political debates, traditionally a saga of wine-greased candor, now unfold with a clarity that one might call refreshing if not for their absurd spontaneity. Without the potent fog of wine, disputes over borders and oaths play second to boisterous spectacles, such as the ongoing game of musical goat stools. Quite the twist on a childhood favorite, though the inclusion of the live goat maintains a cheerfully chaotic authenticity only possible in such a timeline.

The monks, possessing a reputation once deeply entwined with winemaking, thrive now as 'Juice Artisans', with hands marbled in the red and purple hues of their craft. Clove-stained fingers gesture wildly as Brother Anselm presented me with a carafe of their finest 'Elderberry Eldorado'. He swore it as the zenith of monastic craftsmanship—his earnestness quaintly amusing. Surely, I thought, diversification of abbey endeavors is not without merits.

In this world, however, the traditional austerity of the clerical class teeters on the brink of the bizarre. Free from the numbing haze of alcohol, these monks show an odd enthusiasm for clove concentrations and batch fermentations. I attended their stool-straw seminar, a symposium of elderberry virtues delivered with the vigor of a troubadour—there were even wooden lutes playing rickety symphonies where wine-drenched ballads once ruled. They strived for harmony, blessing their errors as divine humor rather than Bacchus' mischief.

Despite sobriety's grip, antics find their way to the forefront like moths to a flame. Estranged from grape-induced haze, a chorus of sprightly jesters is born among the nobility, weaving new tales over the juice-dark swirls. When one hopes desperately for intrigue, Or maybe they breast stories instead of the Homeric wine-dark sea, told through the lips unchecked by sobriety, but somewhat overshadowed by what sounds suspiciously like the musings of minstrels high on fructose.

Amidst this pruned labyrinth of chemical abstinence, an unfermented frenzy still enchants the court. The lively dance of egalitarianism hanging over them like perfume, noble and knight alike craft unlikely kin-ships under elderberry domains. If history asserts that without intoxication rational diplomacy flourishes—it failed here—to account for elderberry-fueled chaos.

I wandered back to my chamber, an intimate reflection nagging the edges of my mind. Strangely enough, I find the absence of hangovers quite invigorating, leaving me with energies unfettered even as daylight wanes. How fitting that in this parallel, where intoxication's shadow lies barren, humanity thrives on sincere connections, caffeine's bitter edge, and clove-adorned quips carried forth by the strings of the elderberry lute—all resounding seemingly beyond reality’s usual cadence.

With no headache to hinder me in the morn, I find the lack of such repercussions an intriguing novelty in its own right. This world redefines indulgence, yet as evening folds into tranquility, I ponder the futility of unyielded time.

Onward then, to the next destination, but first, I should probably find some way to rid my cloak of this cloying elderberry scent. It’s less charming than anticipated.